Adoption Story Part Five - The meeting..

At last.. part five of this story!

Here are the previous parts:
Part One
Part Two 
Part Three
Part Four

On June 14, 2011, I met my birth mother Olivia. After a lifetime of not knowing who or where I came from, it finally happened. Not only did I get to meet the woman who gave me my life, but a whole family of warm and loving people that are now in my life! I feel so blessed. I am still searching for the words. It's a profound self-puzzle with the pieces coming together everyday.

My family, Olivia's family, all of our loved ones have been so touched by this. The story takes on another level of complexity as Olivia is a stroke survivor. Eight years ago she suffered her second massive stroke which left her unable to walk, and with Aphasia, where the language part of the brain is impaired in both expression and understanding.

So, what we are experiencing is all about the heart. She was absolutely there and her spirit is bright and buoyant. She was smiley, a hearty person, and even spunky. I wondered beforehand if we would all be bawling our eyes out, but Olivia was steering the ship. She was joyful and playful, all smiles and thumbs up. She was full of connection and expression, taking it all in and clearly proud of all of her loved ones. Here are some moments from this great day.






The more I learn about her, the more I am amazed what parts of us are inherited in our blood, and what parts we learn along our way. I will write more about this as I continue to reflect, but she was indeed was a self-made woman. Very smart (as all of her relations), strong and independent. After she had me, she put herself through school and got her Masters Degree in business. She started as a clerk in a major company and worked her way to senior management.

When she was young she was not in the Peace Corp which I originally thought, but in the Foreign Services working for the Embassy. That's how she was in Thailand where she met and was briefly engaged to my birth father. She never married or had any other children. She lived her truth - in an alternative lifestyle (especially brave in the 60's and 70's) and had a great love / partnership of 30 years. She read spiritual books, (she had "Conversations with God" in her collection so maybe she had heard my music already) she ran the LA marathon in her 50's. She always loved music, dancing, her animals, she gave to many animal charities.

I was so nervous and happy going there. My sister Jenny went with me and she drove us towards San Diego on a sunny Tuesday. Olivia was waiting in her lovely and comfortable care home with her brother (my uncle) and his wife and two of his children, more extended family gathered from around Los Angeles to help celebrate this day. They were all so wonderful, warm, and funny too. 

There are so many remarkable things that we all discovered that we have in common, both physically as well as small habits and tendencies. We all visited for six hours of continuous smiling, learning more about her history and her family members (who there is much musical talent within) much laughing and connecting the dots. How she and I both lived by our lists, we went to lunch and they noticed how I curl and tear my napkin at the table was just like her. There were many various personality traits big and small, and even the things I cannot eat. It's so completely fascinating. I am still trying to get my mind around it all.

We had a lovely time and I already love them all so much. I smile every single time I think of them, and that is all the time, so I am always smiling. I will go back again in August and October.

It's clear that Olivia is so very loved by all who know her, and now, including me.